Bye bye Iran

Like nowhere I’ve ever been before, leaving Iran feels like leaving home. In just 3 weeks we’ve met so many amazing people, we feel as if we have friends and family in every major city (and some less major ones). Usually I leave a place reluctantly, in the knowledge that I probably won’t return due to the fact that there are so many other places to go and see , and a taste is enough before trying something else. But Iran’s people make it unique, and I have the feeling that this place is more like fine wine - if I manage to make it back here, the experience will be even richer than before.

When I left New Zealand, most people were (understandably) curious as to why I would want to go to Iran - after all, isn’t it just all desert, nuclear weapons plants, and terrorists? Well aside from the fact that reality could not be further from this, there are obviously a number of things that could be better about Iran (mostly in relation to government) - but there is also plenty of amazing things that Iran has and which we in the West could learn from. Not so briefly, my “Best of” Iran:

• Ta arof - A custom whereby everyone is super generous to everyone else, even if you can’t afford to be. Everyone else is expected to turn down any offer three times before accepting, allowing someone to offer something up to three times and appear generous, even if they can’t afford to give it away. Some people found it silly and fake, but there is a fundamental difference in social interaction which this seems to encourage - people’s default action is to offer help and assistance to others. In the West people seem to think “Me first, then maybe I’ll offer help to someone if they look like they need it”, whereas Iranian people have the mindset, “Offer help to everyone, and if they need it more than me, then they might accept”. Although offers such as “no charge” for a taxi ride are clearly not meant to be accepted, we were offered (and often accepted) many a meal, snack, helping hand, set of directions, or bed for the night that were genuine offers to help.
• The importance of family. In Iran, family time and functions are top priority. Hanging with your family (immediate and extended) is what people do rather than filling their schedules with work, fitness, more work, and anything else that could be added to the “goal achieved” list in their head. They still manage to study to PhD level, be high level sportspeople, devote themselves to religion, and pursue careers - but these things are not nearly as important as having a meal with the family. While living with my Grandparent for a month before departure I appreciated that there is nothing quite like spending time with and getting to know your family, and this is something that I envy about my new Iranian friends.
• Pineapple Lump Soap! Iran may not have the technology to enrich Uranium to weapons-grade levels (yet), but we can definitely learn from their other top secret technology. Our hostel in Yazd had soap that smelled exactly like Pineapple Lumps - this is what we should be trying to find out more about.
• Sit on the grass - with all the grass in NZ, it’s not that often that people stop and enjoy it. Here parks are filled with people relaxing, having picnics, throwing a ball - and it’s not unusual to see tents pitched in random fields as you drive between cities, with families having a picnic or just enjoying the countryside. Maybe it’s because there’s no alcohol, and there are restrictions on access to rubbish TV and internet - it seems that everything has a silver lining.
• History. Alexander the Great, the Persian Empire(s), Genghis Khan et al. Not to mention recent history of British and American backed coups, religious revolutions, Iraq/Iran war, and more. This place has it all - so many stories to tell.
• Don’t plan out every hour of the day - take the time to be social. The number of times that we went to lunch and stayed until past dinnertime, or dinner and stayed beyond midnight, well outnumbered the times that we finished our food and left soon after. People don’t use the excuse of “work”, “to-do lists”, or anything else to cut short social occasions. Often if there are dinner guests, mattresses and blankets will appear in the living room, and the guests will stay the night and go home the next morning - people just talk themselves to sleep.

There are also a few things that are not so great about this country, and these affect the citizens far more than they do anyone else. Rather than give my (relatively ignorant) opinion on what needs to change here, below are some of the most salient points from the Iranians that we met along the way:

• Freedom of information and expression - Rather than restricting people and the information available to them, allow everything but encourage and educate the benefits of preferred behaviour - by telling people that they can’t have something, they will try that much harder to get it. The current situation has the best parts of Iranian culture being eroded by people who are latching onto the worst of western culture (satellite TV) and mimic it in the (false) belief that it is how to be a “developed country”.
• Charity begins at home. The government should be concentrating it’s efforts on helping it’s own citizens, strengthening the beautiful culture and sharing this with the world (to Iran‘s benefit - socially and economically), rather than giving away money - no strings attached - to countries such as Afghanistan, picking fights by denouncing western nations such as USA and Britain, and talking about wanting to nuke Israel.
• Freedom of choice - women being forced to cover themselves with headscarves is widely held up as an example of unnecessary and disliked law - we met a number of women who would choose to wear headscarves even if it was not compulsory, and also a number who were devout Muslims but severely disliked the requirement to cover themselves in public.
• Freedom of religion - many of the younger people that we met confessed to not being practising Muslims, and that although many believed in “a God” and a value system that reflects the majority of morals of Islam (and a number of other formal religions), they disliked the State brand of Islam.

I've never been one to learn new languages (the brief attempt at Mandarin last year was driven by economic aspirations), but right now I would love to learn Farsi - the people of Iran have so much character, intellect and passion to share, and they love to share it - if I only I could communicate with them (without the help of English speaking friends).

When one of our Esfahani mountaineers said, “I think…[pause for thought]…Persian people, they steal… your heart”. At the time I wasn’t sure whether it was a question or a statement, but judging by the regret with which Brad and I are leaving Iran, I’m thinking that it was probably the latter.

Photo: I spot a break in the manic Tehran traffic and run out into the middle of Imam Khomeini Square for a pic - note the snow-capped mountains on the edge of this 14m person capital city!